Stop, Colaborate & Listen.. To Your Body

This past week has been hard. Tremendously hard. I exhausted my cheat meal "allowance" not once, not twice, but three times. Wow. At first I couldn't figure out what the deal was? Why was I simply feigning for anything and everything? After the second cheat meal I took a serious step back and just thought. I needed to figure out what the heck was different now than previous weeks where I was just fine with my standard one cheat meal.

I finally realized that I am burnt out. It's been 12 weeks now of strict dieting, intense workouts, and less than great sleep at night. I know some people are capable of doing the competition prep for even more than 12 weeks and not having the urge to jump off the deep end. But you know what? I'm not them. I'm me. And me likes ice cream and playing in the kitchen with new fun recipes and going out to eat or to cookouts with friends. It's who I am. It's what I love. And being deprived of that for 12 weeks won't only slowly kick you into a state of mind where you want EVERYTHING, but it will also put you in a mental funk. The more I think about it, it's no wonder I couldn't sleep at night. I've not only deprived myself of "normal food" but also activities that I love. Don't get me wrong, I love having a goal, eating clean and treating my body right, working hard and having something to train for. I've pushed my body to do things I never imagined possible but in doing so I lost a healthy balance.

Fast forward to the third cheat meal this week. This one was planned. I went to a cookout and had the usual cookout type food. (BBQ chicken, potato salad, baked beans, the works) But why would I plan ANOTHER cheat meal after I already had two?! Shouldn't I punish myself? Do hours of cardio at the gym and only eat chicken and spinach? No. No punishment. Just love. I just need to love myself through these challenges. In the end they make me stronger. I needed this weekend to regain my thoughts and figure out where I stand. Did I want to compete in this show still? Should I wait until a later show? Have I cut as much weight as I wanted to for this competition? The answer is no. But I HAVE worked my butt off. And I'll be damned if you think I'm not going to step up on that stage and give it what I've got. It'd be easy to just postpone competing until another show rolls around in a month. Too easy. And that's not what I have been training for. I'm not going into this competition with the hopes of winning anything, being a first call out or looking better than all the other competitors. I'm going in to prove to myself that I'm fantastic and I, me, Bailey, have come a long way and that is ultimately all that matters. Plus, it's not like there won't be other shows following this one. It's only going to get better from here. :)

Well there you have it, that's what has been in my head space. It feels good to have gained a little sanity and figure out a new plan from here. As for the rest of this beautiful Sunday, I'm going to spend it in the sunshine with people I love and simply relax :) After the leg day I just had, I know I deserve it! Along with those delicious PWO protein pancakes I had ;p Here's to Sunday funday & a stellar week!

Not Your Ma's PB&J Pancakes
1/2 cup oats (made into flour)
6 egg whites
2 Tbsp water
2 Tbsp ground flax meal
1 tsp vanilla
cinnamon to your hearts content
dash of baking soda and powder, each

Topping
2 Tbsp Justin's Maple Almond Butter
2 Tbsp sugar free preserves (I used Polaner seedless Blackberry with fiber)
2 Tbsp Sugar free pancake syrup

Directions: Whisk the pancake ingredients together until is forms a better consistency. By the 1/4 cup, pour mixture onto a griddle/skillet over medium heat. When the cakes start to show bubbles through the center, flip.

For the topping, I mix the almond butter and blackberry preserves together in a ramekin and then use a spoon to layer and spread between the cakes as I stack them. To finish them off I drizzle the syrup on top and viola!

XOXO
-B.